So tacky it makes me really sad

I was in my local warehouse club today and came across what is easily the tackiest holiday yard product I’ve ever seen in my life. It was more than 10′ long, and entirely inflatable. In the display, it was partially deflated, cocked to one side, looking miserably… well… words are failing me. It played loud, scratchy sounds that I think were some kind of pre-recorded holiday music-like-stuff. I just felt so sad looking at it. If you see one of these, please, shoot it with a BB gun as a public service. Darts work. Anything you have around. What has Christmas become anyway? I considered pulling the plug but as you can see in the photo, there were shoppers around and I thought it might hurt somebody - who would then have to fill in a rather embarassing insurance form.

On a breezy day, I can see these things bouncing down the street - shooting out across the road in front of unsuspecting holiday-goers on their way to grandma’s house. Oh well, at least they’ll only last until January, when the frustrated owners will destroy them in a fit as they try to stuff them back into the flimsy boxes they came in. Oh wait, I can see it now… they’ll be left out as year-round ornaments in trailer parks ’round the country. Oh, Joy.

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